Children are curious

Right from a very early age, even babies are curious. They want to learn about the world around them, about their bodies and about the people in their life. From toddlerhood children start to ask questions. It intensifies at around 3 years of age when the barrage of questions can seem endless. It is only natural that children are curious about their body, about the differences that they see between female bodies and male bodies, especially if they have a sibling of the opposite sex. Bath time is often when some innocent, yet challenging questions can arise. As they start to learn and grow the next questions are often about where do babies come from? Or how are babies made? Or in our case how do babies get out?

Children will seek information anywhere they can get it.

In my son’s case he was resourceful enough to find my unlocked phone and to get access to Google. But I’m betting this wasn’t the first place he had looked for information. Children talk, and you can guarantee that if one 8 year old boy is curious that there are others in the playground that are also super curious. This is where the danger lies. If children are misinformed (which they often are), it can set them up to be exposed to harmful, too much, or incorrect information. This leads me to my next point.

Give children the truthful answers to what they ask, no more no less.

If you brush over the questions and don’t give a clear response, or worse make up an answer that gets you off the hook for a while you run the risk of your child feeling silly in front of their peers. If your child receives information that doesn’t add up or is different to what they have heard around the playground they will continue to investigate and won’t trust you next time with a similar question. It has always surprised me how easily you can satisfy their curiosity. A short sharp matter of fact response with a simple explanation is usually enough. Especially if your answer computes in their brain with what they have already heard, then they generally go back to whatever they were attending to before. The trick is to answer only the question that they ask you. Do not offer any further information until they are ready. If they want to know more, they will ask. Remember the information you share must be simple, clear and age appropriate.

Your children will only feel embarrassed and cringy if you do.

So, the key to delivering your response is to talk about it in the most natural and neutral tone that you can muster with your heart racing and your brain scrambling. Reproductive body parts, the act of reproducing and the miracle of birth are a natural part of life. To our children it is just information about life and how our bodies work. It shouldn’t be taboo or dirty in any way particularly if we stick with simple, clear age appropriate language. If we appear embarrassed, shameful or indicate that this subject is naughty, or wrong then our children learn that this is not a safe and comfortable topic of conversation to have with your parents. Trust me, an open line of communication with your teenage children on this topic is incredibly valuable and protective. It is worth the investment in the early years to build this level of trust and safety for the years to come.

It is a protective factor for children to know the anatomically correct names of body parts.

My final point is around the protective factor of children being informed. It is especially important that children learn and feel comfortable to use anatomically correct term for their body. Research has shown that when children use the correct terms for their private body parts, they are at less risk of being a victim of abuse and more likely to seek help and receive a fast response when disclosing if any abuse has occurred. It is not easy using words like penis, vulva and vagina especially if you haven’t grown up with this language. But when you think about it no one is ashamed of saying elbow, or ankle, so why are these body parts so difficult to talk about?

If school biology lessons were too long ago and you need a little refresher on the reproductive system here are a few great resources for you

Book: Mummy Laid an Egg

“Just how are babies made? Erm Well. . . they’re delivered by dinosaurs squidged out of tubes and found under stones! In this story the kids put their embarrassed parents straight and dispel the myths surrounding baby-making, growth and birth. Babette Cole careers through the facts of life with her no-nonsense text and funny illustrations.”

Website: And is a great online resource for parents to help you find the right words to discuss reproductive development.

The bottom line is children need to know and will find out one way or another. It is best to build trust and teach your children as they are learning and growing in a way that fits with your family values, beliefs and culture. Correct information is protective and allows for children to learn only what they need to know at the time without stumbling across inappropriate images and confusing misinformation from external sources.

Written by Sonia Harris Founder and Director of

Below are some points that might help you decide what’s right for you. There are certainly practical decisions that need to be made such as convenience, pricing, operating hours and the waiting list. However here are what I like to call some of the heart factors that could really make a difference for you and your child. There are also National quality standards, all centres in Australia are independently assessed and have a rating. Check the rating of the centres that you are exploring and ensure they are at least meeting the national standards or have a clear plan that demonstrates how they are working towards meeting the minimum standards. You can find more information on the national standards here

Most centres will offer you a tour, you can go have a look around and meet the education team to get a feel for the place. I would recommend that you visit at least three different centres. When you enter go with a long list of questions to help you make your decision.

Senses and instinct

When you arrive get a sense of the feeling as soon as you walk in the door, trust your instincts. Look for things such as warm smiling faces and natural, calming environments. Is the centre filled with the aromas of yummy lunch cooking (it’s a good tip to go around 11AM when the food is being prepared)? Have they got calming essential oils burning, or is there an odour of dirty nappies floating through air and the sound of babies crying? Your first impressions are usually correct and if you feel comfortable in this space the chances are your child will too.

Staffing

On your list of questions ask if children are connected to a primary caregiver. This is when one specific educator becomes the key person in your child’s care. Having a key person or primary educator, helps children feel safe and connected with a person that you and your child learn to trust. Ask to meet the room leader and ask what ratio they use for staff to children. There are minimum Australian standards, some centres may have a higher number of educators which allows them to have a smaller number of children in their care. It’s good to know what qualifications are held by the education team in the room where your child will be starting. Whilst higher levels of education don’t always mean higher quality, it is still good to get a sense of the knowledge and skill mix of the team working with your little one.  Ask about the professional development opportunities that the staff receive. It will give you an idea of how up-to-date, the team are with their training and knowledge and how invested the centre is in quality.

Centre vision and educational philosophy

It’s useful to get a sense of the educational philosophies that the centre believes in. Are their programs relationship based? Is child led learning valued? How are the programs developed? Is there a specific philosophy followed? Centre visions should be clearly articulated and should match your own values where possible. Ask about the routines in the room where your child will be placed. Are children allowed lots of choice with their play? Can you see engaging activities set up? Is lunch time fixed, or flexible? Is there inside and outside play available? Do the children appear to be engaged and connected? How does this all fit with your expectations?

Communication, parental and community involvement

A lot of centres offer methods where you receive photos and videos straight to your phone or email during the day. This is a fantastic opportunity to see what your child is up to in real time.  Does the centre offer parent nights and special events? Do they encourage genuine parental involvement? Some centres have parent committees. I even know of a couple of centres who have a children’s committee where the voice of the child is truly valued. Ask about the centre’s involvement in the community. Are they connected to their community and do they offer real life excursions out into the community for the children?

Cultural inclusion and diversity

Is your culture represented at the centre? Do you feel welcome and a sense of belonging? Can you see books, toys and images that your child can relate to? Does the centre engage in a variety of cultural celebrations? A sense of belonging is an essential component for all of us, especially our little ones. It allows us to feel understood, valued and connected.